Fear/Stop The Silence!
Break The Silence!
You know, when I think about my past, I really get sad and upset. My past life was such a painful place for me, that today when I think of it, it feels real, as if it is still helping. During those times I have the worst time with coping. Thank God for Tayler, or I’d be falling more often.
I’m still scared though. One of my biggest fears if that one of my sisters, whom I cared for 10 years with little to no help from anyone else, will die or be seriously hurt, and I’m not there to care for them anymore. I’m not allowed to contact them. However, I am constantly reminded that what happens isn’t my fault, no matter how much I feel at fault for leaving. I guess I did it to save myself, so I could still be there for them when they wanted me to be. They can still contact me if they need to, so I suppose it isn’t as bad.
I guess I’m just ranting a bit, telling you all about my fears, but it feels kinda good. I like putting myself out there for you guys. I apologize that I don’t have any amazing story or perfect advice for you this time, but I thought maybe you guys would like a little update about what I’m doing and feeling as I write behind this screen.
I have a reminder for you guys, by the way. Go to www.stopthesilence.org and get yourself a Stop The Silence! T-shirt. I just did. Read about what this organization is all about! They help kids who went through what I did and worse not fall for the most devastating way of escape. Oh, and on April 20th, 2012, remember to spend the entire day silent! Stop The Silence by reminding people out there about the silence some kids are forced to remain in.
On the website, they have a special form that you can show your educators, so you don’t have to speak during classes or anything, so you won’t get in trouble for having to stay silent that day. Trust me, give it a try. You’d be surprised what a difference it makes for people.
Lots of Love,
Dia
Rising Above The World 